Wow! You're Gonna Have Your Hands Full!!!

Now that Sophie is a little older, I'm a little more comfortable with two kids, and Leila is a little more communicative (or has fine tuned her selective hearing), we're venturing out more.  The grocery store trips don't intimidate me quite as much as they used to; lessons are something to look forward to again and not something to dread (though it's still hard to always get there on time!); and a stroll around the neighborhood is almost shoulder-shrug easy...almost.

And since we're out and about more, we're getting "noticed" more.  Now, I'll always tell you that we - and by we, I mostly mean Sophie and Leila - are getting noticed because we're a beautiful bunch of gals...but my realistic side will tell you it's because Leila is usually being such a quirkball that it's almost impossible NOT to notice her and Sophie is usually in some sort of babywearing carrier which isn't exactly common.

We get the "oooohs" and the "aaaaaahs".  I get the "Boy or girl?" question all the time (Sophie is a baldy with blue eyes so I like to dress her in blue...so sue me).  I get the "How cute are your babies?" to which I always proudly respond "So freakin' adorable, right?"  Occasionally, I'll even get, "Wow!  Your babies are so good!"  (My response:  Of course they are!  They're my babies!)

Inevitably, during all these exchanges, the admirers/curious strangers/little old biddies always ask how old each of my girls are.  "Leila is 22 months and Sophie is 3.5 months...They're about 18.5 months apart."  Upon hearing that, I'm usually left with these pearls of wisdom to ponder as the gawker walks away....really, verbal gems if you will..."Wow!!  You're gonna have your hands full!"


Now, when people first said that to me (especially during my pregnancy with Sophie when people would ask me how far apart my bebes would be) I would get defensive.  I'm not gonna lie.  I have a quick temper and one of the fastest ways for it to rear its ugly head is when people question/comment about my decisions...especially ones I can't change...pregnancy being one of them.  I would respond with: Oh no, I'll be fine.  Everything will be fine.  The age difference isn't that bad...it'll be fine.  The girls will love each immensely and have a built-in playmate and they'll be fine.  (See a pattern developing?)

Then, I would get worried.  Did I make a mistake having my girls so close?  What if it wouldn't be fine?  What if they were so close together I couldn't handle a newborn and a toddler?  What if they tagged team me and I gave in?  What if they end up hating each other because they were so close together?  What if, what if, what if?

Then, one day recently, it hit me.  My hands are full.  And now I smile.  Because when I hear "You're gonna have your hands full!" I think, yeah, I really am...My hands will be full when:

-I'm busy feeding Sophie and sweet Leila brings me a towel and a paci and the phone and a drink and some snacks all to make me comfortable and happy...and I don't even have to ask for them...

-I'm wearing Sophie in a carrier on one side and swinging Leila around and around for an impromptu Adele Kitchen Dance Party....

-I'm reading to Leila on my lap, with Sophie on her lap, and the large picture book balanced in one hand while the other hovers "just in case"...

-I'm fixing a bottle for Sophie and Leila is entertaining her sister by imitating a lion's roar....

-I'm being passed a washcloth, soap, and towel by the helpful big sister while little sister is getting a bath....

-I'm being pulled frantically towards the stairs by Leila when "Sophie cry! Sophie cry!" and Mommy needs to help her....

-I'm holding up the camera to capture the sweet moments of Leila showing Sophie all her Little People and making each one give Sophie a kiss on the cheek...

-I'm folding them in prayer and look over to see Leila's hands folded as well....then hear a resounding "AAAAAAAAAAAMEN!" when the prayer has ended...

-I'm folding laundry and the burp cloths disappear and end up on Sophie's head as "they're for baby!"....

And hopefully, one day in the near future, my hands will be full of my girls' hands, each holding Mommy tightly...


So yeah, my hands are full.  And I'm so very blessed that they are.

"I love the Terrible Twos!"

...said no sane mother ever...

My sweet, adorable, wonderful, willing to please Leila has now become a stubborn, resistant, precocious, semi-defiant two year old.  Somedays, as she's laying on the floor crying because there is no Mickey or because I didn't get to her snack fast enough, I look at her think, "Whatwhat? Where is my sweet baby girl, and who are you?"

It's amazing how fast the transformation came around.  She was still her happy-go-lucky self as of two months ago, then BAM!  Welcome to the not-so-pretty-side of toddlerhood.

Don't get me wrong - she's still a sweetie.  She's incredibly gentle with her baby sister; she still gives out hugs and kisses like no one's business; she still likes to grab my hand to pull her down on the floor to play.  But now, on top of those sweet things, we also have temper tantrums when I dare utter the word "nap"; instant tears when Mickey is over (like Mommy really controls Disney Junior?); the word "No!" screamed at a decibel only dogs can hear when I am ridiculous enough to suggest eating a vegetable (you'd think I'd learn quicker, huh?).

I get how some specific things set her off, I really do.  For instance, I understand not wanting to nap when it's gorgeous outside and you'd rather be hitting bubbles with a stick....or not wanting to eat a vegetable because it looks like a tree and honestly, who wants to eat a tree?...or not wanting Mickey to end because he's your best friend and you've even learned to dance like him...I try to master these situations with patience and gentleness (who am I kidding here?) but sometimes, nothing works.

What I really don't get is the things that set her off that seem completely and incredibly ridiculous to me.  Prime example:
Me:  "Leila, smile for the camera!"
Her:  "AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!"
(For those of you without toddlers, that translates to:  Help!  Mommy's trying to suck my soul out with the demon box!  Run for you life!!  Daddy would never do this to me!!  ENGAGE COMPLETE MELTDOWN MODE!!!)

I know this is a phase, and that "This too shall pass."  Well, as much as people warn me not to wish my life away, I will admit sometimes I wish this phase of her life away...or at least, away for a day.

An encouraging thought for me during this Terrible Two's Toddlerhood Moment:  God does not give you more than you can handle...which makes me happy because, according to Leila and her mood swings, God must think I'm a superstrong WonderWoman! :)

*In the spirit of the post, I thought I'd share one of Leila's "lovelier" moments...  :)  (Mean Mommy - I know)*

Protesting Mommy taking a picture...What could I have been thinking?

Mommy of Two

Two girls now run my household...and before you ask, no, I am not one of them.  This honor belongs to my 20 month old Leila and my almost 2 month old Sophie.  I just try to keep them fed, clothed, bathed, and then hang on for the rest of the ride.

I read a lot of research before we had Sophie about adding another child to a family: how to balance/split your time between two, how to establish a routine early, how to help your older child adjust to a new little one...and let me tell you, none of it helped.  As good as the intentions were of the authors, I feel like nothing I read could truly prepare me for what our family would become.  Partly because no one besides us knows our family dynamic, our personalities, etc., and partly because reading something and experiencing something is completely different.  COMPLETELY.  

Though I have been beyond lucky to have my mom able to stay with us after Sophie's birth and help us get adjusted, I still struggle with things I never did before...like getting out of the house on time (which if you know how early I like to be everywhere, this is very exasperating for me), remembering to eat myself (the girls never let me forget when it's time for them to eat, but it keeps slipping my mind), finishing a book (in all my free time...that's a joke).  And then there's the conundrum of bedtime: How do I get Leila through her bedtime routine and still keep Sophie content?  So many small things that I need to figure out before my mom leaves, and if I stop and think about it, I truly get overwhelmed...

But, my mother in all her infinite wisdom, left me pondering a little gem of wisdom today.  During one of my many moments when I was doubting my competence of a mom of two, she said, "Rachel, here's what's important.  That your girls are healthy, well-loved, and happy.  At the end of the day, as long as those three things are taken care of, then it doesn't matter that you didn't sweep your floors."  (Not 100% true as Pepper sheds like none other so I have to sweep daily, but the sentiment remains.)  

But I really stopped and reflected on her words today.  Yes, I like a clean house, all the laundry done, the dishes put away, and a nice dinner on the table by the time Devin walks in the door, but in the long run, does that matter?  Will the girls remember that they continuously had dog hair clinging to their socks, or will they remember that Mommy stopped folding laundry to build a tower, have an Adele dance party, or push them around the house on a train?  

I wish I was SuperMom - the one that could do everything and anything - run the perfect household, make gourmet dinners every night, plan educational and engaging activities everyday for my kids, and still make time for herself and others.  Fact of the matter is: I'm not, nor will I ever be.

But I am Mommy - the one that shows up late to doctors appointment because we had to tear the house apart for Leila's comfort toy, the one that burned dinner because she was too busy dancing like a lunatic in the living room while making her girls laugh, the one who showed up to her meeting without showering first because she had to have an All Girls snuggle in bed with her favorite ladies.  And while there will be many frustrating and hard moments as I adjust to my new role of Mommy of Two Girls, I can only hope that I will tackle them with grace, determination, patience, kindness, love, and a whole lotta trust in God that He will get us through.  

Mommy of Two.  That's who I now am.